This is a topic that to me baffles the mind, people of our time taking up the habit of smoking. Surely not all of these new found smokers are blind so that they have not seen the multi million dollar campaigns shown on the television with oozing hearts and half cut brains. Surely they are not all deaf not having heard the ravings of health teachers, radio discussions, friends and parents over the hazards of smoking. Lastly they cannot be all illiterate can they? Not being able to understand the HUGE half covering of the packet detrimental to health messages stamped on every god damn pack they suck into their lungs. Smokers that often force others around them into a second hand drag through the act of needing to breathe to live, and no there isn’t always some other place you can go to get away from it besides why and the fuck should you have too?
I have some understanding towards those who took up smoking 25+ years ago when there wasn’t an awful lot of knowledge or awareness on the subject, and credit is given to those who fit into this category and have managed to quit. Not that I still don’t think your still a bit retarded for not realising the fact that intentionally sucking smoke into your lungs might just not be all that greater thing to be doing.
Example time – There is a fire, lots of dirty smoke filling the air and burning your eyes. Do you
A. Open your mouth and breathe in as hard as you can so to enjoy the rich taste or
B. Try as hard as you are humanly capable of getting the fuck away from it?
Next Example – You’re driving along, this next part will shock you, a road and you get stuck behind a smelly ass piston ring shot out diesel truck with a driver named Bob who has to shave his palms. This truck is incidentally blowing exhaust fumes in the direction of your cars ventilation system. Now do you
A. Sit behind the truck, even if given the opportunity to pass or if it means you are illegally under the speed limit just to experience the soothing effects of diesel smoke.
B. Fly past bob as soon as you are given the chance, even if it means cutting somebody off and abusing him with your mighty vocabulary of swears plus the all important one troop salute?
Last Example – You’re in the kitchen cooking up your favourite treat (something grey if you have read my other articles) and you stupidly, or is the phrase accidentally, it’s always hard to tell these things, burn it to a crispy pulp. Do you
A. Keep every available window closed, all cooking exhaust fans off and sit down to enjoy the rich full texture and taste of the now black version of your former cream cheesecake.
B. Open every available window, crank up that fan, apologise to all the others in the house whining about the smell and go for a run instead?
If you haven’t already got the point I’ve been trying to make I’ll personally buy you a carton of your favourite fags as you deserve to be smoking. Kids you’re not cool, it’s going to kill you and above all other things most importantly you’ll make me doubt your intelligence level leading me to make comparisons to that of chimp like creatures. Dinosaurs did not die of smoking, no it took something much more badass; don’t let pathetic brown shit in a stick be your end. Do everyone a favour – QUIT!
