I was so used to seeing my face in the mirror each morning that for a few seconds it simply didn’t register that THAT face staring back was not mine!
Actually, it wasn’t even human. OK, so some people think I’m NOT human till I get my morning shot of caffeine, but it REALLY wasn’t human. The background was totally unfamiliar, too.
The face looked as confused and upset about the situation as I did. Maybe even more so. Beyond it I could see odd and totally alien shapes. Definitely not MY bathroom!
“Um … hello?” I said, hoping my voice really was more than a terrified squeak.
“Xisfrtl? Brlrlk!” was the response. I blinked and took a firmer grip of the taps. Fainting would not be a good move, I told myself. Instead, I focused on the alien face.
Like me, it had two ears, a nose and a mouth. It had two ears, considerably larger than mine. Unlike me, it was quite round and a brilliant shade of orange. It was smaller than my own face, and the eyes were wide open and also rounded. There was a fuzz of green hair on its features and a mop of fluffy green hair which started close above the eyes. No eyebrows. The teeth were white and didn’t look any scarier than my own.
And … as I watched, the eyes began to leak what – in spite of the fact they were blue - just had to be tears. They were liquid and round and rolled down those orange cheeks.
It – whatever it was – was scared of ME!
“Hello?” I tried again, trying to make my voice gentle and reassuring. “Can you hear me?”
That did it. The alien face burst into tears and started to make a dreadful caterwauling din.
Behind it, another face – larger and also, I suspect, older - appeared, and it looked annoyed. But not with me. It did however look directly at me.
“So sorry,” it said, in clear and precise English. “But if I’ve told little Grmfts here once, I’ve told him a million times, to stay away from the trans-dimensional warp mirror. I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you again. Goodbye.”
And both faces disappeared.
Damn, First Contact postponed again!