When striking my cymbals, I like the cymbal to move. I never choke the cymbal by over tightening the screw against the top washer. I sometimes even remove the top felt washers altogether.

When striking my crash cymbals, its more of a glancing blow than a full  blooded hit, although I still play my crash cymbals very aggressively when needed. 

TIP Tilt your crash cymbals a little towards you, if they are horizontal you will increase the chance of damaging them.

When playing my ride cymbal, I play on the flat part of the cymbal with the bead of the stick for certain grooves, 

on the bell with the bead,

or upper shaft of the stick

for a different sound, and on the edge ( at an angle)

for really heavy rock playing. I like my ride set at an angle and height so I can do all of the above comfortably.

When playing my high\hats, I play on the edge (at an angle) with the upper shaft of the stick for some grooves, 

on the flat of the top high\hat with the bead of the stick,
and a mixture of playing on the edge with the shaft and playing on the flat with the bead together. I use the latter alot when playing eighth notes on the high\hats, 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and. The 1,2,3,4 notes are hit with the upper shaft, at an angle on the edge of the high\hats. The and notes are hit with the bead of the stick on the flat of the top high\hat, playing shaft, bead, shaft, bead, shaft, bead, shaft. bead, on the 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and notes. Practice this, it is very handy and gets used alot.

I believe in quality cymbals.

If you are going to spend big dollars on a quality set ( which you will ), get an experienced drummer to help you choose them. Play them in the shop before you buy them. Remember every cymbal has its own character and sound.

Compare the same sizes against each other, ( I recently bought a new 16'' crash from a major supplier, and played every 16'' crash in the store over and over until I made my choice ). Take your time and don't be pressured, you are the one who is going to be playing these cymbals, not the salesman.