Welcome to Battle of the Planets Revisited
Battle of the Planets was an incredibly cool show that I first saw on TV back in 1979. It's an American adaptation of the Japanese anime Gatchaman and was changed markedly from the original in that it had to be heavily censored to remove a lot of the violence and the producers filled in the gaps with the home grown R2D2-esque robot character of 7-Zark-7.
Over two and a half decades later, I'm watching BotP again, this time on DVD.
I haven't forgotten what made this show so cool, and I still hate Zark as much as I did as a kid, if not more so.
Every now and then, I -- or one of my esteemed guest reviewers -- review an episode and jot down some thoughts. Here you will find those jottings, together with an all new original feature: recipe of the episode.
Gatchaman and Battle of the Planets are the property of Tatsunoko Studios and Sandy Frank Productions, respectively. Copyrighted material is used for the purposes of review, and in some cases, satire (when I think something's really stupid.)
EPISODE REVIEWS FROM HELL
With recipes.
Here are the reviews completed thus far as well as those you can expect in the near future. Further down the page is a complete episode listing in the order of their equivalent Gatchaman episodes. The numbers in parentheses following each episode title correspond to the equivalent 'suggested Frank viewing order.'
The Space Serpent - Reviewed by Nancy
Serpents don't have lots and lots of little legs.
Ace From Outer Space - Reviewed by Nancy
A new enemy bursts onto the scene... wearing a brown paper bag over his head.
A Swarm of Robot Ants - Reviewed by Nancy
The villain's name is "Antoff."
Space Rocket Escort - Reviewed by Nancy
Oh, right... I'm on the wrong planet.
Magnetic Attraction - Reviewed by Nancy
Forget the fried egg analogy, this is your brain on drugs.
Attack of the Alien Wasp - Reviewed by Nancy
You should only trust dead friends if they're not really dead.
Spectra Space Spider - Reviewed by Nancy
Do you notice how when a character gets stupid, the intelligence immediately passes to the next person in the chain of command?
Island of Fear - Reviewed by Nancy
With fronds like these, who needs enemies?
Raid on Riga - Reviewed by Nancy
Egad, those Spectrans may be evil, but you have to admit, they have style.
Raid of the Space Octopus - Reviewed by Nancy
'Octopus' from the Greek Okto meaning 'eight' and pous meaning 'foot', hence 'four tentacles.'
The Awesome Ray Force - Reviewed by Nancy
It's... the Icing Nozzle of Doom. Obviously.
Rage of the Robotoids - Reviewed by Nancy
If knowledge is power, G-Force is in big trouble.
EPISODE LIST
Attack of the Space Terrapin [1]
The pilot episode, in which we are introduced to G-Force, the Federation, Spectra, Vitalumis... and (sigh) Zark.
Rescue of the Astronauts [16]
Spectra intercepts a spacecraft on its way back to Earth and G-Force must fly to the rescue. Famous for the line, "In sickbay."
The Space Mummy [48]
On a newly discovered planet within Earth's Solar System, named after its discoverer, 7-Zark-7, a giant mummy is causing aircraft to disappear. Mark befriends a little boy whose pilot father has disappeared, in a haunting echo of his own life's story.
The Space Serpent [46]
During a attack by a Spectran 'serpent' ship, Mark loses a close friend, whose daughter blames him for her father's death. At least two civilians appear to be perfectly aware of Mark's 'secret' identity in this episode.
Ghost Ship of Planet Mir [40]
Brock, unable to find work on soap operas now that he has been deposed as ruler of Planet Mir, joins forces with Zoltar in a plan to lay a trap for G-Force using the mysterious ghost ships of Planet Mir.
Big Robot Gold Grab [17]
Zoltar goes a-thievin'. With robots.
Ace From Outer Space [54]
Earth acquires a new enemy: the 'space pirate,' Captain Doom.
Fearful Sea Anemone [74]
Not sure why the Sea Anemone of the title is fearful, rather than, say, fearsome, but it bears an uncanny resemblance to Monty Python's Black Beast of Aaargh.
Jupiter Moon Menace [38]
Spectra establishes a base on one of Jupiter's moons from which to strike at Earth.
A Swarm of Robot Ants [28]
What can I say? Earth is attacked by a... well, a swarm of robot ants. Ants, people!
Space Rocket Escort [23]
G-Force is given the job of escorting a new ship to Planet Riga, but things go pear shaped along the way.
Beast With A Sweet Tooth [32]
A horrible giant cockroach gobbles up Earth's sugar supply.
Perilous Pleasure Cruise [50]
Zoltar proves that he is evil by threatening an annoying little girl to force her wheelchair-bound grandfather to hand over his ground-breaking regeneration formula.
The Thing With 1,000 Eyes [7]
The title says it all, really.
Microfilm Mystery [26]
In some jobs, you need to be able to juggle.
The Alien Beetles [75]
Keyop's new pet is actually an insidious invasion machine from Spectra, and makes more mess than a puppy.
A Whale Joins G-Force [15]
Keyop adopts a baby whale and names it, 'Nambu.' The International Fund for Animal Welfare has links to sites where you, too, can help to save whales. I'm serious about this.
Mad New Ruler of Spectra [4]
They shoot horses, don't they? After watching this episode, please think about making a donation to Horse Rescue.
The Sea Dragon [49]
On Planet Aquatica, Zoltar finally creates a weapon that can withstand -- and stop -- the Fiery Phoenix but of course Zark comes up with a fix.
Magnetic Attraction [64]
Earth is attacked by... a giant... bowling ball, which leads to rising tension within the G-Force team. This episode does my head in.
The Musical Mummy [18]
Where we discover that Keyop's musical talent is... unique. Yes. Let's call it that.
The Fiery Lava Giant [13]
The giant of the title bears an uncanny resemblance to the Cristo Redentor statue in Rio de Janeiro. What would Jesus do? Probably not this.
The Bat-Ray Bombers [77]
Tiny gets some screen time for all the wrong reasons after he falls asleep at the switch. Literally.
Race Against Disaster [14]
That episode with the unlikely car race, the blonde, the robot animals and the unforgettable line, "I'm a wobot!"
The Ghostly Grasshopper [22]
Zoltar sends a giant grasshopper to steal water from Earth.
The Galaxy Girls [71]
Where we discover that the female may well be deadlier than the male, that Zoltar has a sister, and Chief Anderson has a sense of irony.
Curse of the Cuttlefish, Part I [59]
In her mission to steal the Conway Tapes, Spectran agent S-9 manages to trick Princess and Keyop and takes them captive.
Curse of the Cuttlefish, Part II [60]
G-Force must try to overcome the cuttlefish of the title while Keyop and Princess remain in the clutches of Agent S-9.
Demons of the Desert [45]
A prince's throne has been usurped and G-Force try to help.
Siege of the Squids [2]
Zoltar launches another raid on Earth's natural resources using a school of squid. Hold the garlic.
Orion, Wonder Dog of Space [36]
A St Bernard dog with cerebonic implants assists G-Force in saving the Earth from Zoltar's version of global warming.
The Fierce Flowers, Part I [81]
Spectra sends killer flowers to Earth and Princess is captured.
The Fierce Flowers, Part II [82]
With Princess seemingly lost to them forever, the rest of G-Force must try to destroy the killer plants while trying to cope with their grief.
The Space Rock Concert [11]
Zoltar kidnaps a rock band and forces them to use their music as part of a new weapon.
Prisoners In Space [34]
Tiny finds himself in the Big House.
Victims of the Hawk [68]
G-Force does rather badly against a big mechanical bird, despite the best efforts of Princess' makeup kit, but Zark assures us that everything is okay.
Raid on Riga [33]
After losing his nerve in a botched mission on Planet Riga, Mark must play chicken with Colonel Cronus to get his mojo back.
Seals of Sytron [39]
Galactite Hydronium is the fuel of the future, so of course, Zoltar has to nick some. Naturally, G-Force cannot stop him without the aid of friendly seals. Yes, seals.
Giant Gila Monster [57]
Ding, dong, dell, briefcase-guy's in the well.
The Capture of the Galaxy Code [35]
Zoltar hijacks the Presidential plane, complete with President.
Raid On A Nearby Planet [21]
If you're from Planet Vega, does that make you a Vegan?
Keyop Does It All [44]
Keyop and Zoltar go head to head... or, possibly head to knee.
Peaks of Planet Odin [65]
Colonel Cronus teams up with G-Force to stop the takeover of a friendly planet.
The Sky Is Falling! Part I [79]
Mark goes haring off to Planet Riga when an old friend brings him evidence that his father may still be alive, but is it a trap? Without their commander, G-Force is unable to prevent Zoltar launching an attack which could end all life on Earth.
The Sky Is Falling! Part II [80]
G-Force struggles to hold it together while trying to save the Earth by restoring the Van Allen Belt. Mark discovers his father's true identity.
Raid of the Red Scorpion [30]
Cronus is dead again, and Mark is not a happy bunny.
Mammoth Shark Menace [12]
Zoltar pollutes Earth's oceans and Chief Anderson sends in the EPA! Only kidding. Of course he sends G-Force.
Fastest Gun In the Galaxy [8]
Ageism is alive and well in the interstellar society of the future.
Giant From Planet Zyr [6]
Our religious icon of the week is Brahma, the Balinese deity with four faces.
Secret Island [37]
Zoltar decides to go play in the Bermuda Triangle, giving Mark and Princess the opportunity for a romantic island getaway... not.
Giant Space Bat [55]
It's a giant space bat, Jim.
Attack of the Alien Wasp [19]
It appears that Colonel Cronus isn't dead after all. Or is it just a cruel trick designed to destroy the G-Force team once and for all?
Decoys of Doom [3]
A shippers' favourite. Galaxy Security has some rather unconvincing robot doubles made to act as bait for Spectra. Of course, Mark has to stick his oar in, but he does get a hug for his trouble.
Zoltar Strikes Out [63]
The baseball episode where Jason makes a rather naughty joke about 'scoring' and gets away with it.
The Great Brain Robbery [56]
A pun is the lowest form of wit. Some scientist thinks it's a good idea to create an evil brain. Zoltar thinks so, too.
Raid of the Space Octopus [10]
That episode where the Phoenix gets totalled by an Octopus with any number of tentacles as long as it isn't eight.
Silent City [25]
Where Zoltar has crabs.
Peril In the Pyramids [61]
For reasons of his own, Zoltar steals Egyptian pyramids from Earth, only to relocate them on the prison planet Alpha-3.
Rage of the Robotoids [78]
Jason rescues an attractive young woman from a seemingly unprovoked and unexplained attempt on her life by strange robotoid attackers, but all is not as it seems. Especially at the end, where we get Zarked.
The Alien Big Foot [41]
Keyop saves the day when G-force goes up against a mechanical yeti.
Invasion of the Locusts [67]
No, Princess, an entomologist does not collect stamps, not unless he or she is also a philatelist in his or her spare time.
Space Safari [20]
Tiny is kind to animals.
Museum of Mystery [24]
That episode where Princess loses her shoe.
Peril of the Preying Mantis [5]
Tiny gets some character development
The Awesome Ray Force [73]
Zoltar learns how to reverse the effects of G-Force's transmutation process, and tries to expose the team's secret identities (which are known to only a few hundred thousand people if previous episodes are anything to go by.)
The Duplicate King [58]
The episode where Mark doesn't believe in Vegemite. Guest starring a Peter Lorre lookalike.
Defector To Spectra [76]
The 'Amanda' episode. Hussy!
Panic of the Peacock [9]
G-Force goes up against some very persuasive birds.
Mission to Inner Space [27]
For reasons unknown, guest scientist of the episode has a pet monkey named Cindy.
Spectra Space Spider [31]
An old friend and colleague of Chief Anderson's defects to Spectra and attempts to uncover G-Force's secret (known to only half the galaxy by now) identities.
Super Space Spies [42]
Keyop and Tiny get into trouble while combating Spectra's evil plans to damage Earth's environment using salination
Cupid Does It To Keyop [29]
Cupid gets to be Julie's knight in shining armour.
Tentacles From Space [53]
G-Force go up against a bloke built like a brick wall. And there's some kind of hydra-monster thingy. We are introduced to the possibility that whoever designed Jason's gun was on drugs.
Island of Fear [69]
Keyop uncovers a secret enemy base near Center Neptune. With Center Neptune itself as Zoltar's target, G-Force must race against time to stop a fleet of Spectran submaries before it's too late. Geography is subject to change without notice.
The Awesome Armadillo [52]
When is an armadillo not an armadillo? When it's some kind of turtle, that's when.
Invasion of Space Center, Part I [84]
Center Neptune comes under attack.
Invasion of Space Center, Part II [85]
Can Mark, Princess and Chief Anderson escape Center Neptune before it falls down, goes boom? Zark assures us that everything is okay.
Save the Space Colony [62]
Sometimes it's embarrassing, what's literally under your nose.
Charioteers of Changu [83]
Rule Number One: never underestimate shabby, mysterious old guys.
Vacation On Venus [43]
In this episode, we ignore the fact that Venus is uninhabitable to humans.
Rockets Out of Control [47]
Zoltar turns an exploration ship into a deadly weapon which could wreak destruction on Earth.
G-Force Defector [66]
A former member of G-Force appears to have turned to the side of Ee-ville. Jason has a car accident.
Strike At Spectra [70]
Jason needs to go on stress leave.
G-Force In the Future [51]
While escorting an eccentric scientist on a trip, Mark is involved in an air crash. He wakes up to find that fifty years have passed, and Earth has lost the war against Spectra.
The Conway Tape Tap [72]
Why simply steal the Conway Tapes, when you can take the entire building back to Spectra with Mark and Princess as unwitting passengers?
The 'Frank Recommended Viewing Order.'
The viewing order 'recommended' by Sandy Frank Productions came to light with the publication of the DVDs. Rather than the viewing order based on the Gatchaman series, we are urged to watch the episodes in this particular order.
I say watch 'em in whatever order you want!
Anyway, here is the Frank Viewing Order, with Disc details for the Australian DVD release:
01: Attack of The Space Terrapin (Volume 1, disc 1)
02: Siege of the Squids (Volume 1, disc 1)
03: Decoys of Doom (Volume 1, disc 1)
04: Mad New Ruler of Spectra (Volume 1, disc 1)
05: Peril of the Preying Mantis (Volume 1, disc 1)
06: Giant From Planet Zyr (Volume 1, disc 1)
07: The Thing With 1,000 Eyes (Volume 1, disc 1)
08: Fastest Gun in the Galaxy (Volume 1, disc 2)
09: Panic of the Peacocks (Volume 1, disc 2)
10: Raid of the Space Octopus (Volume 1, disc 2)
11: The Space Rock Concert (Volume 1, disc 2)
12: Mammoth Shark Menace (Volume 1, disc 2)
13: The Fiery Lava Giant (Volume 1, disc 2)
14: Race Against Disaster (Volume 1, disc 2)
15: A Whale Joins G-Force (Volume 1, disc 3)
16: Rescue of the Astronauts (Volume 1, disc 3)
17: Big Robot Gold Grab (Volume 1, disc 3)
18: The Musical Mummy (Volume 2, disc 1)
19: Attack of the Alien Wasp (Volume 2, disc 1)
20: Space Safari (Volume 2, disc 1)
21: Raid on a Nearby Planet (Volume 2, disc 1)
22: The Ghostly Grasshopper (Volume 2, disc 1)
23: Space Rocket Escort (Volume 2, disc 1)
24: Museum of Mystery (Volume 2, disc 1)
25: Silent City (Volume 2, disc 2)
26: Microfilm Mystery (Volume 2, disc 2)
27: Mission to Inner Space (Volume 2, disc 2)
28: A Swarm of Robot Ants (Volume 2, disc 2)
29: Cupid Does it to Keyop (Volume 2, disc 2)
30: Raid of the Red Scorpion (Volume 2, disc 2)
31: Spectra Space Spider (Volume 2, disc 2)
32: Beast With a Sweet Tooth (Volume 2, disc 3)
33: Raid on Riga (Volume 2, disc 3)
34: Prisoners in Space (Volume 2, disc 3)
35: Capture of The Galaxy Code (Volume 3, disc 2)
36: Orion, Wonder Dog of Space (Volume 3, disc 2)
37: Secret Island (Volume 3, disc 2)
38: The Jupiter Moon Menace (Volume 3, disc 2)
39: Seals of Sytron (Volume 3, disc 2)
40: Ghost Ship of Planet Mir (Volume 3, disc 2)
41: The Alien Big Foot (Volume 3, disc 2)
42: Super Space Spies (Volume 3, disc 2)
43: Vacation on Venus (Volume 3, disc 2)
44: Keyop Does It All (Volume 3, disc 2)
45: Demons of the Desert (Volume 3, disc 2)
46: The Space Serpent (Volume 3, disc 2)
47: Rockets Out of Control (Volume 3, disc 2)
48: The Space Mummy (Volume 3, disc 2)
49: The Sea Dragon (Volume 3, disc 3)
50: Perilous Pleasure Cruise (Volume 3, disc 3)
51: G-Force in the Future (Volume 3, disc 3)
52: The Awesome Armadillo (Volume 4, disc 1)
53: Tentacles From Space (Volume 4, disc 1)
54: Ace From Outer Space (Volume 4, disc 1)
55: Giant Space Bat (Volume 4, disc 1)
56: The Great Brain Robbery (Volume 4, disc 1)
57: Giant Gila Monster (Volume 4, disc 1)
58: The Duplicate King (Volume 4, disc 1)
59: Curse of the Cuttlefish, Part 1 (Volume 4, disc 2)
60: Curse of the Cuttlefish, Part 2 (Volume 4, disc 2)
61: Peril in the Pyramids (Volume 4, disc 2)
62: Save the Space Colony (Volume 4, disc 2)
63: Zoltar Strikes Out (Volume 4, disc 2)
64: Magnetic Attraction (Volume 4, disc 2)
65: Peaks of Planet Odin (Volume 4, disc 2)
66: G-Force Defector (Volume 4, disc 3)
67: Invasion of the Locusts (Volume 4, disc 3)
68: Victims of the Hawk (Volume 4, disc 3)
69: Island of Fear (Volume 5, disc 1)
70: Strike at Spectra (Volume 5, disc 1)
71: The Galaxy Girls (Volume 5, disc 1)
72: The Conway Tape Tap (Volume 5, disc 1)
73: The Awesome Ray Force (Volume 5, disc 1)
74: The Fearful Sea Anemone (Volume 5, disc 1)
75: The Alien Beetles (Volume 5, disc 1)
76: Defector to Spectra (Volume 5, disc 2)
77: The Bat-Ray Bombers (Volume 5, disc 2)
78: Rage of the Robotoids (Volume 5, disc 2)
79: The Sky is Falling! Part 1 (Volume 5, disc 2)
80: The Sky is Falling! Part 2 (Volume 5, disc 2)
81: The Fierce Flowers, Part 1 (Volume 5, disc 2)
82: The Fierce Flowers, Part 2 (Volume 5, disc 2)
83: Charioteers of Changu (Volume 5, disc 3)
84: Invasion of Space Center, Part I (Volume 5, disc 3)
85: Invasion of Space Center, Part II (Volume 5, disc 3)
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