Tuesday 20 March 2001

Growing up is hard to do (Part II)

As I said yesterday, I never ever knew what I wanted to be when I grew up; and it has only been in the last few months that I figured it out. I know I have to get out of administration or rot or go insane. I just don't LIKE admin, in fact it sucks major donkey ass, and I simply don't belong there. So call me a slow learner, eh. 

Anyway, I finally reached this general notion of what I wanted to do, how to go about making the necessary changes, and gave myself a certain timeline in which to achieve this.

So saying, work has been so impossible and downright dirty that I had to review my schedule. I've only just come out of a maelstrom of constant harassment from top-down and bottom-up, total lack of communication, major stress and all the physical and emotional crap that goes with it. 

Logically, the solution is to get out, and fast, I can't afford to wait for something else to come along, I have to hunt it down and make it happen. However things are complicated by so many personal and other concerns, so that I don't want to do anything drastic NOW ... and all the other 'nows' when I've considered drastic action have also been inappropriate for one reason or another, or just plain bad timing. Its just never been the right time. Maybe it never will be, and I will have to throw caution to the winds and act, goddammit.

I have a pretty impressive cv with appointments in a huge range of roles and professions, but it's diverse at best (at worst its one hell of an amorphous mass), and it does reflect the fact that I've lacked focus. Which is not something you want to admit to a potential employer! 

To this end, I've done a fair bit of preparation but still have heaps to do; doctoring my cv, identifying the gaps, and then networking, making contacts, and marketing myself. That's the tricky bit, as far as I can see! I hate having this cv that sounds all spin doctor-y and wordy; it would be nice to say 'hire me, I will solve your problems' but it doesn't work that way.

The long term plan is to get some experience here in Perth, get a good reputation, make some contacts, and move interstate or overseas. Perth is not where it's at, and to be honest I really can't stand the place. Sure the beaches and sunshine are blissful, but for all its status as a capital city, its basically a small, narrow-minded country town at heart.

And while I'm feeling terrified at the prospect of the amount of background work I'm going to have to do, and leaving my comfort zone (which, let's face it, isn't comfortable AT ALL), I'm also feeling much more centred and able to cope with the inhumane conditions at work. And a certain euphoria at starting to grow up.

Has anyone else gone through this kind of thing, at this age, or is it just me?

previous entry         home          next entry