Tuesday 22 January 2002

Parents! A brother! Wheeeeee!

So, Ernest, Isabel and Charles (Henry arrives on Thursday) turned up on our doorstep last night. They'd driven up from Dublin, and I had understood from a phone conversation with Isabel the night before that they would call when they were on their way. Sooooo I was expecting them to arrive much later than 5.00 pm. When there was a knock on the door I figured it was Sam (who generally forgets his keys), but instead:-

Parents! A brother! Wheeeeee!

Oh but it is good good good to see them. Ernest and Isabel look pretty damn good - Isabel has definitely benefited from her exercise programme, although she hasn't lost much weight (which is what she wanted, and its true she does need to lose a fair bit, purely from the perspective of her health), she has changed shape, and looks much stronger and fitter, which is more important than mere weight loss, as far as I'm concerned. Weight loss can - and will - come later. Ernest looked just the same - that "just-arrived-on-this-planet-on-the-way-to-somewhere-else" expression which cracks me up more than it frustrates me, these days. Definitely a sign that I'm mellowing ... just a little.

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There was some hugging and kissing (for Sam too, who arrived right about then), then I dragged them inside as they seemed to have settled on the doorstep for the duration. Now, see above, where I said I wasn't expecting them until later - much later? Well, dinner wasn't anywhere ready (I'd just put the beef, mushroom and red wine casserole into the oven, and it takes at least two hours) and I hadn't had a chance to tidy the house so it was a bit of a mess. Well, to put it bluntly, it was a tip.

Thus, after not having seen my maternal parent for six months, and without so much as a "how great to see you, don't you look wonderful", Isabel came out with "oh this place is a mess - you have a terrible storage problem - what can you possibly do about it - you must do this, or that .... " and continued in this vein for the next few hours, right through dinner (which, as I said, wasn't ready for another two hours and the folks were expecting to be fed right now, yes now, like animals at a zoo).

Okay, Isabel had a point. Yes, the place was a mess, and yes, we do have a storage problem. But considering that my shipping only arrived a couple of weeks ago, and we'd been very busy in non-work hours doing wedding planning stuff and hadn't nearly finished rationalising and sorting through everything, surely that's understandable? And anyway, that kind of stuff is trivial in the circumstances - ie, not having seen my family in six months after moving to the other side of the world, getting married, and so on and so on. So I was a bit pissed off, really, getting this unstoppable critique and attack when I just wanted to spend some quiet time with my family. Sam was a hell of a lot more pissed off than I was - he was furious with Isabel for criticising us, our home, and for harassing me, and generally keeping me on the run, trying to hurry-up dinner, get them drinks, keep them happy. In a perverse way, Sam being so cross made me feel better. Weird that - something to do with sharing the load, or perhaps just confirming that I did have a valid reason to feel angry and hurt, and wasn't simply overreacting?

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Anyway we got through dinner (the casserole was very good, although only Sam said so and thanked me for cooking it), and the folks went off to their hostel/B&B quite early, about 10 pm, leaving me in a somewhat wound-up state, not to mention an even messier house (they left the majority of their cases, suit-bags and miscellaneous plastic bags in our hall). Needless to say, Sam and I did some serious "venting", and oh my, did I ever have a terrible night. My pulse rate had jumped from its usual 60-ish to about 80, so heaven knows what my blood pressure was like.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) Sam is taking the day off work and we're going to take the folks around town. I really really hope Isabel has calmed down a bit, this was not what I had planned for the week before my wedding. I haven't felt stressed at all until now, and here I am a gibbering, shaking mess. Ah, parents.

But hurrah, my dearly beloved Sooz arrives on Wednesday, and then all shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

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In other news, and also wedding-related (sorry - I really have tried to keep the bridal-babble to a minimum), we've made a few changes to the day's schedule. Instead of having an all-day, all-night thing, we're settling for a late long boozy lunch after the ceremony, and then people can keep drinking in the bar in the hotel, or go to the night-club next door if they so wish. The rationale behind this; Sam and I were getting way too worked up about the timeline and what we would do with all the guests in between ceremony-photographs-dinner etc, and also Sam was concerned about how I'd last through the day (I was concerned about me too, but hadn't voiced this; isn't my best-beloved gorgeous?).

The hotel where we're having the reception-thingy has been fabulous to deal with; really easy-going and accommodating, yet very professional. I have gathered that they're a little taken aback by my laissez-faire attitude, not giving more than two seconds' thought (if that) to matters such as napkins, colour of; not to mention we're not bothering with a Cake. Apart from the fact that we both hate traditional fruit-cake, I can't eat it anyway, and none of the cake-makers could do a gluten-free cake of any species. If we really wanted a cake I'd have to make it myself, and I can't see myself doing that at this late stage. Of course, "everyone" is horrified we're not having a massive three-tiered extravaganza, but I bet they won't even notice its absence on the day. This is hardly a conventional wedding anyway - not totally off the wall either, in fact I think it is going to be very stylish and classy in a minimalist way, which suits Sam and me perfectly (if I do say so).

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