Friday 08 February 2002
Get me to the Hall on time ... (Wedding Day Part I)
The first part of the morning was a slight blur as we were pretty much going for the land speed record with a tight (but do-able) schedule. Morning weddings are great, and definitely recommended, but have their disadvantages, namely hairdressers won't open their salon for you until 0900 hrs and you have to be at the Registrar's Office, made up, dressed, all bridal and serene, at 1040 hrs. Uh-huh, best laid plans ...
The schedule as it really happened:-
0700 Wake up. No alarm clock / wake up call required. Just as well as we hadn't organised for either and hadn't got to sleep til after 0100 hrs.
0710 - 0730 Long hot shower. Wash hair. Exfoliate face and entire body. Put on Clarins' exorbitantly priced glowy-face gloop (aka Beauty Flash Balm and worth every penny).
0730 - 0800 Breakfast delivered. Shout that I am not hungry and couldn't eat a thing. Smelled unmistakable scent of Ulster Fry. Eat everything.
0800 - 0830 Dress in Jeans and t-shirt. Start on make up. Sooz on pretty much same schedule.
0830 - 1030 Charles arrives at hotel to take us to hairdresser (a week previously I had cried, snivelled, snotted and guilt-tripped the woman to come in half an hour earlier). Have hair washed, blow dried, scrunched, curled, tweaked. Headache threatens from all the tweaking and smell of product (also perhaps because net weight of hair has been doubled with all that product?). Speak sternly to headache, utter dire warnings. Headache departs. Charles drives us back to hotel.
1030 - 1050 See that time there? That's when I was supposed to be getting to / at the City Hall. Funny funny. Flowers have been delivered whilst we were at the haidresser's. Isabel and Ernest arrive at hotel room. Ernest hovers in hallway while Isabel gets dressed and "helps" Sooz get me dressed. More funny funny. Sooz and Isabel more fidgety and stressy than I, a sea of calm in comparison.
Put on ivory bridal undergarment, ivory bridal lace top stay-ups and ivory bridal shoes. Feel like a kid playing dress-ups. Complete mascara-swiping and general make up tasks. Put on dress. Isabel and Sooz begin to fasten up dress (hundreds of loops and buttons requiring an electron microscope and gene-splicing forceps). Isabel tells me me that there is no way they can fasten up dress as I am too fat and have gained weight and my hair is way too long. Oh why thank you, you look lovely too Mum. And by the way I weigh less than 50 kgs and am radiant / adorable / beautiful / [insert bridal-type compliment here]. Bite lip hard enough to draw blood.
Sooz fastens up dress perfectly easily, adjusts various bits, adds tiara and veil. Apply lipstick. Pick up bouquet, very pretty indeed. Last minute check in mirror. No longer feel as though I am kid playing dress-ups. Sooz takes a couple of photos. Ready. Still strangely calm, wonder if I will fall to pieces in Registrar's anteroom.
1100 - 1110 Limo arrives at hotel. We pile in. Driver asks me if I prefer City Hall or the International Airport as a destination. Arrive at City Hall. Photographer already there, snaps a few shots in the main lobby. Rush unceremoniously to the Registrar's Office as somewhat behind schedule by now. Deputy Registrar de Jour bundles Sooz, Ernest and me into the anteroom. Isabel herded into Wedding Suite (that is actually what it is called; I think it sounds weird but what else are they gonna call it? Hitching Post?). DRdJ informs us that the Groom and Best Man have only just arrived, ushers have ushed everyone to the wrong place and the bride's brothers are nowhere to be seen. Bride laughs and laughs and laughs. Father of the Bride and Sooz look stressed.
1110 - 1115 DRdJ tells us that the ceremony can't be held back any longer to wait for errant brothers and will have to commence now. Errant brothers arrive, panting, having driven around the block nineteen times trying to find a parking place even though I had informed them the previous night and that morning that a parking place had been reserved for them at City Hall. Laugh and laugh.
1115 - 1135 Entrance music begins (Jeremiah Clarke - Trumpet Voluntary). Sooz looks at me, gulps, starts the walk down aisle. Ernest gulps, I square my shoulders and we follow.
Sam. I see Sam. I look at Sam and he looks at me. He looks beautiful. DRdJ talks. We repeat some words and look at each other. More words. Sam puts a ring on my finger. I put a ring on Sam's finger. We repeat a few more words. Various people are snivelling (not me though). Sign book thingy. Music plays (G F Handel - "De torrente" from Dixit Dominus). Pretend to sign book thingy while photographer takes photos of us pretending. Some more words. Music plays (J S Bach - Brandenburg Concerto No. 3, Third Movement), Sam and I walk down aisle. Lots of flash flash. I look at Sam and he looks at me.