Tuesday 25 June 2002

When I was single, I never noticed guys. I never looked them over, sized them up, let alone chat them up.  I never ever picked up on signals, such as, they might be interested in me by some freak chance. I was totally, absolutely unaware. Girl friends used to tell me (after a party, a night out, a drink in the pub) "wow he was really checking you out" and I would not have the faintest idea what they were talking about. In fact, the guy they referred to was probably the guy I would have selected as Least Likely To Notice Someone Like Me.

So now I'm married? I notice guys all the time. I don't know if it's better knowledge of the male psyche and body language, or more confidence/ awareness of my own self, or that I'm thus not as self-conscious, or a combination; whatever, I notice guys noticing me. Sometimes just a quick appraisal, sometimes a serious checking out, sometimes a kind of acknowledgement ... And if they do notice me, noticing them noticing me (as it were), I'm not embarrassed or mortified. I might give a small smile, or a cheeky grin, or maybe nothing much at all. But I don't duck my head.

I also do a fair bit of eyeballing myself. Again, I have absolutely no idea why, as Sam is my whole world, my one and only, my dearest and best and there's no way on this earth I'm looking to exchange (indeed, the very idea sends me into a cold sweat). I'm simply ... more aware. Examples - a couple of old school friends of Sam's spotted once or twice at Tesco; Leigh's brother at the christening; one or two others here and there. The first weird thing is, that all of them sent very clear "interested" signals, regardless of the fact that I was obviously married and hanging about Sam's neck (in a loving way). The second weird thing was that they were all, without exception, the same "type" as Sam. Tall, dark-haired and -eyed. Obviously intelligent, and in occupations where that intelligence was key - in information technology, electronic engineering, something. And all with a distinctly dark, maybe-cynical, off-beat sense of humour.

Now of course Sam is the best; anyway he's my boy, and that's that. What I'm trying to get at is, did I miss Mate Selection 101 (taught at school? or university?) and why am I only picking all this up now? Or ... were there no potential mates for me in Australia so I had to come halfway around the world? Or am I just totally missing the point? But it is strange, that I should suddenly, on getting married, start to get noticed by the kinds of guys who I would otherwise like to be noticed by, if I didn't have a Sam.

Weird.

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Kinda on the same theme, except not really (now if that's not Irish enough for ye ... ); I'm having immense problems with the concept of "husband". The word, the category, whatever. Sam is my boyfriend, my life partner, my soulmate, the love of my life, my best beloved ... But husband? Sounds so outdated, so alien to my ears - too too Austen or Bronte for words, darling - and I try to use it but eeep. Maybe it'll grow on me. But in the meantime, Sam is my guy. But then, I don't even like the possessive pronoun. Argh. What to do?.

 Definitely not Significant Other, anyway ewwwww.

nb:  there was much lively debate over at The Usual Suspects, about what to call one's guy/girl/whatever, and I think I may have unwittingly brought the use of "the The" or "my The" into the lexicon, although The "The" was the initial title of the thread, I was definitely one of the first to use it in plain sight, and which has caused much disgust among some but has otherwise been widely adopted. Hee.

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