Sunday 30 June 2002

It's that time of the month again. The uncontrollable urge to scream and kill, the overwhelming surge of hormones, unbelievable intake of junk food junkfoodjunkfood ... Gawd, the things we women have to put up with.

No you idiot, not that time of the month (that was last weekend, and anyway is only every four months because I wrap the Pill). I meant that it's Gaming Day at the Household. You know, as described back here - a lot of guys blowing shit up, insulting each other, and playing the "mine's bigger, better and faster than yours" game. With their computers, duh. Today Don, and Leigh's brother (who I eyeballed back here) and a couple of other guy friends we have met through them at other times are joining the party. So it should be amusing. Leigh and I were planning a day out, to nick the boys' credit cards and go shopping or something, but (a) neither us nor our boys have any money anyway, and (b) Chloe (the baby) is having a Bad Day. We'll talk later I'm sure.

We went shopping at Tesco last night (we are so the exciting couple) for supplies. Sam is having a pork pie for lunch, and before you start worrying about the state of his arteries, please note I dissuaded him from buying a couple of tubs of Pot Noodle - "the slag of snacks" - and truly vile. I will be having a mixed salad, Spanish style - lettuce, tuna, hard boiled egg, tomatoes, red onion etc etc with a simple olive oil and white wine dressing.  Dinner will be home made pizza.  And if Sam can get himself out of the armchair after all that, having exercised only his mousing hand all day, I shall be most surprised.

I shouldn't be so harsh though - he cycled to and from work on Friday - an hour and a half each way mind you - and he is looking very trim and taut and mmm mmmmm I catch myself looking at him whilst in the supermarket and thinking "oooh, that's my husband". Heh.

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Last week's PMS meltdown made me - and Sam, for sure - all the more relieved that I "wrap" my Pill (at the end of the first 21 days I start a new packet rather than going to the sugar pills, so I don't have a period) and only have to go through this every four months (or to be exact, every 84 days. The cramps are bad enough; I don't get snappy or snitchy but oh dearrrrr do I get depressed and sad, oh so very sad. It's not even PMS as such as the blues usually hit on day three, but anyway ...

For a start, we went for a cycle after lunch on the Saturday, and I had a really bad spill - totally not my fault, honest! - caused by a wee young shithead of about 8 who deliberately rode his BMX directly at Sam and me. Sam had to swerve, I had to swerve, and wobbled, and started to slow down so I put my foot down to the ground but the elasticky bit on my track pants caught in the pedal and whoops crash ow ow ow. My head hit the curb, my left arm got heavily grazed and bruised, my right side had various bruises and owies due to the bike crashing onto me, and I voted fairly strongly to go home.

Once home I went into full emotional meltdown - tears, snot, heaving sobbing - along the lines of "I can't do anything, I'm nothing" etc etc, so embarrassing and even as I was doing all that I knew it was hormone related but could still see that it had a basis of truth. Blah, complex emotional shit really sucks. Health (lack of), the whole visa thing, being isolated and lonely and goddamn homesick (or something-sick). Anyways Sam, the precious darling (bloody deserves a medal) talked me down, talked some sense into me and so after a bit I was able to separate all the issues and see that it's not me, it's just bloody awful circumstance screwing with my head (oh, and raging hormones).

Bleaugghhhhh though. Such a mess.

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My darling Sooz replied to my "I don't belieeeeeve it" note with the following (you can totally see why I adore this girl, can't you? She's a treasure ... oh and she just got the most fabulous job so she's not just unbelievably gorgeous and adorable ya know ... oh and she usually swears much less than me, so):-

"Motherfucking dickhead assholes from hell ... Lying cunts ... I now hate them all!"

That's my girl. Cheered me up more than anything else could have!

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