Saturday 18 January 2003

Fear of Flying

Its been pretty much business as usual here;  absolutely vile weather, freezing and non-stop rain and massive gale force winds, really quite foul. 

I finally booked my flight to Perth.  Mum was going to book it from her end but was being quoted prices like AUD$2500 (with Royal Brunei, with a five hour wait in Brunei Airport from midnight, I don’t think so) – for one way! – so I did some searching and got a flight with British Midland and Qantas, transfers all of around an hour, for £400/AUD$1200  – a bit more reasonable hm?  So I leave here on Sunday 2 March, getting into Perth Monday ...  Felt VERY weird booking the flight, its definitely happening now, and I'm not happy about it at all.  Well, neither of us are.  It's so rough, and going to be rougher ...

I'm so torn over this.  Well, we both are of course, but I'm particularly desperate to get back to Perth and the opportunity to get my health and fitness back on track.  I already have appointments with Zeus lined up (I must be the only relatively sane person on the planet looking forward to having a course of cortisone injections, which are muchos muchos painful - certainly more painful than tetanus or TB or B12. Like, ouch.

On the other hand ... I cannot bear the thought of leaving Tuxedo.  Oh I know it's not leaving leaving, that we'll be in constant contact (yay for the internet and telecommunications) and it won't be long before a "conjugal visit" (hee) but I tear up whenever I think of being without him, no cuddles or silliness or having someone to hang out with and just be there ... Being alone and lonely and without the level of support that was, just two years ago, totally alien to me but now totally necessary. 

For instance; when I'm sick there won't be anyone to hold my hand and stroke my head and soothe me and run about re-heating wheat-packs, or doling out painkillers and propping me up while I sip water, or ...

So I just do not want to get on that plane.  I do not want to feel the miles increasing between us.  I'm quite frankly terrified of the prospect of that flight.

Beam me up, Scotty?

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Meanwhile, Jessie is proving to be the most complex – and relatively expensive – element in the enterprise.  There’s no way I can leave her behind – apart from the whole moral/responsibility thing she’s MY cat and really lovely most of the time now, and good company ...  I asked Tuxedo how he felt about it, and he was adamant that there’s no way he’d leave her behind either; moral issues aside he’s quite enchanted by her.  Soooooo sweet considering he didn’t really like cats before Jessie and hadn’t ever lived with one, and only let me adopt Jessie because that was part of the deal of me getting engaged/moving over/marrying – about the only condition I think!  Talk about pre-nuptial agreements (roll over Douglas-Zeta Jones)!  So yes Jessie is definitely coming over too – hopefully on the same flights as me then quarantine for 30 days  -  I’ll have to visit her lots.  I hope she doesn’t go all freaky and feral and psycho on us again, she’s very sociable and affectionate and such a cutie-pie now.  Here she is – look at that coat! 

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Tuxedo went and bought us each one of these babies (at an exceptionally good price too) the Sony DSC-FX77 Digital Camera.  Its so when we’re apart we can post each other pics of ourselves, friends, what we’re up to etc.  Okay okay, so we’re total gadget whores and geeks but hey.  Its a damn good idea, I’ve wanted one for ages, especially while over here so as to email pics etc, and the camera itself is SO cute and small and sexy and really is fabulous  – the quality is fantastic, has lots of groovy features and image transfer etc is totally automatic – didn’t even have to install any software, the camera did it all as soon as it was hooked up!  The rotating lens is a genius idea too, plus you can take small movies.  Cool.  Jessie is currently the most photographed cat in the world and really plays up to the paparazzi!