Tuesday 16 September 2003

Sequels

Tuxedo and I were planning on going to a Matrix/Reloaded double bill last night, but pulled out at the last moment because basically (a) I am a wuss as (b) it was going to be a long night and the cinema it was being held at is pretty crappy and (c) my feet can't touch the floor in already horribly uncomfortable seats; and thus the prospect of five hours sitting still in an uncomfortable seat with my abysmal attention span, and the potential result of this equation (muscle spasm; fatigue; bad temper) kinda put me off.  If it had been in a comfy deluxe multiplex, I would have made the effort for sure. Tuxedo calls this particular cinema and its ilk "the TV room" and he's not far off.  Also, the DVD of Reloaded is out in a couple of months so we can watch it ad nauseam in the comfort of Command Central (our computer/vegging out/gym room).

I got thinking about the whole movie sequels/series business, though.  They've been around throughout the history of the The Movies, haven't they, but it seems that in the last twenty years the phenomenon has really taken off.  Mostly, it seems to be, for some strange reason, in the horror/sci-fi genre.  I mean, look at all those really bad oldies (Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Son of the Bride of the Daughter of the Nanny of Frankenstein), and then there were all the Superman movies, the Jasons and Freddies, Robocops, Terminators, Aliens ... and on and on.  Why do some of these work (as individual movies and "packages") and some don't?

I think a lot of it has to do with, and excuse me if I sound too poncey, the integrity of the directors/producers and those who buy into the franchise, and whether they want to make a good movie, or just a summer movie that teenage boys will go see because they have no taste and are bored and have raging hormones (hmmm, great writing Jules; tautology and repetition right there what with the definition of teenage boys and all).  So you get movies like Robocop where the first one is actually quite well done (cinematography and script and special effects-wise) and the others are seriously dire.  I haven't seen all the Supermans but it seems the same rule applies; they get worse.

The one - no, two - exceptions to this "sequels suck" rule are Aliens and T2.  The first Alien movie, directed by Ridley Scott, was fantastic and very very scary - I still haven't managed to watch it all the way through despite numerous attempts and knowing its just a guy in a rubber suit - but the second, directed by pre-Titanic James Cameron was even better.  Admittedly, it was almost a totally different genre being more action than scare-yer-pants-off but still, same series.  The third and fourth sucked donkey's balls, thus making up for the exception.  The Terminator movies (both James Cameron) remain amongst my favourite B movies of all time and the second was maybe even better than the first although this is debatable given the absence of Michael Biehn ... and again, Hollywood screwed up by making a third, which didn't even bother to solve any of the paradoxes and plot bunnies, and was by all accounts pretty sucky. 

Now OF COURSE I couldn't get into any discussion of any movies without mentioning Lord of the Rings in some context, but this group of films definitely falls into the category of the second being even better than the first (and the first was amazing and groundbreaking and mindblowingly good), and by all accounts the third will top the lot.  But then, you could say that LotR doesn't really qualify; its the same story after all, just different volumes of the one book (and different books within volumes, even) so ... and yeah, it is quite simply in a class of its own.  Even if it didn't happen to have Viggo Mortensen in it shutupshutupshutup.

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Life in the physical hasn't been so much fun of late - ahhh the joys and raptures of being a musculo-skeletal rheumatological gastrointestinal neurological gynaecological nightmare ... In a nutshell, I had a physiotherapy appointment at another hospital, this one to check out my vestibular problems (the balance/vertigo issues, basically).  To say that I was reluctant and recalcitrant would be an understatement; I've been through all the tests and blahdiblah before and it aint pleasant ... I nearly cancelled the appointment.  And jaysis do I wish I had. 

First up was all the minor tests for balance and tracking, and that was fine.  The therapist was great, very funny and easy.  Then came the bit I was frankly scared shitless of; the test where vertigo is actually induced by swiftly pulling the patient backwards, from a sitting to lying position on the bed, with the patient's head hanging over the edge.  The therapist then measures the reactions, how severe and how long the vertigo attack lasts.  Well, this patient fucking screamed, sobbed and shook and nearly threw up, as the attack happened to be incredibly severe and lasted ten, count that, ten minutes.  If you've never experienced severe vertigo/dizziness then i can't really describe to you how agonizing and fucking terrifying it is to have the world spinning all around you as though your brain was in a dodgy washing machine. 

So that was great fun.  I was a total mess, and apart from feeling all shaken up and sniffly and still dizzy, I was just overwhelmed with, well not exactly depression, but sadness, hopelessness, inadequacy, idiocy ... I felt like such a moron.  Which is stupid of course; I can't exactly control the daft things my fucked up system does, and its amazing I can function at all, but that's no comfort whatsoever.  I just want to NOT be fucked up, thanks.  To be honest, I wonder if all these appointments are actually doing me any good at all - oh sure, the physical exercises are helpful (but exceedingly time-consuming, there's so many of the damn things, takes all bloody day), but the main effect all this rehab. stuff is having on me is to make me feel even more crap than before.  And how can that be a good thing?  I need to find a different way of looking at this ...

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