Monday 22 September 2003

Smooth

Tuxedo loves his bicycle.  Really adores it.  I'm quite surprised he doesn't bring it into bed with us; although I have on a number of occasions seen him stroke and kiss it.  With reason, I must admit;  its a gorgeous creature, a Specialized Allez Series Comp 18 - if that makes any sense to anyone.  This one, see?  The design really is fantastic, its so light, and simply out-of-this-world to ride (so I've been told). 

The boy is getting pretty damn fit, cycling abut 30 kms every day around the rivers, and that means a strong headwind in at least one, often both, directions - outwards and homewards.  He looks pretty damn impressive too, having developed the cyclist's typical leg muscles and trimmed down significantly, even though he's naturally on the lean side.  He wears skintight lycra cycling gear in shades that reminds me a bit of a poisonous Amazonian tree frog.

Today, he made the ultimate sacrifice.  He got waxed.

See, Tuxedo is a bit of a hairy beast - he inherited the hirsute gene from his father (for which he has never forgiven the poor old bugger) and while he doesn't quite qualify for Pelt of the Year, he has a very hairy chest, back, bum and legs.  I don't dislike this at all, surprisingly, as I know a lot of women hate it.  In fact, I don't get turned on by a billiard ball-smooth chest at all - too too pre-pubescent male and non-sexual and definitely not sexy.  I'm not too keen on the hairy bum, to be brutally honest, but because its Tuxedo's hairy bum I don't mind it at all.  So it was 100 per cent his decision to get, er, stripped.  Primarily because body hair is a bloody nuisance to a keen cyclist; lycra clothing rubs hair up the wrong way which is a kind of subtle torture, it exacerbates any injuries from falls and makes said injuries more difficult to clean up, treat and thus retards the healing process.  The other reason was that Tuxedo himself doesn't like his furry coat.  This came as a big surprise to me, actually, and I have no idea why, but he hates it with a passion. 

So off it came. 

I booked us back-to-back appointments with Fifi, the beautician I go to for my deforestation needs.  She's the best beautician I've ever gone to; meticulous (she actually gets out a magnifying glass and needle-pointed tweezers to get the last tiny little pin-hairs after eyebrow waxing), very careful, has a great technique that massively reduces the degree of pain and inflammation, and is very very reasonably priced.  I went first, getting my legs waxed - I only need this done about four times a year, ditto my eyebrows and upper lip, as I'm practically bald as regards body hair (I have no underarm hair whatsoever - a bit weird to be sure, for a 34 year old).  That was easy, then it was the boy's turn.

Back, bum and legs.  I winced in sympathy but Tux was very brave and didn't even whimper, not once.  It was a long process and the amount of wax - and hair removed - was quite, um, significant.

The results though ... oooooh.  Let's say we're both extremely pleased!  Tuxedo because it has made a huge difference to the way he feels, physically - no irritation and prickling of skin on his back and legs when clothed - and happier about getting rid of something he disliked intensely.  And I'm happy because it - well, he - feels divine.  Mmmm, in a word, strokeable.  Mmm mmmmmm.

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