Wednesday 24 September 2003

Wrong end of the microscope

I fucking hate fucking bureaucracy.  I am so fucking sick of forms, and procedure, and supporting documentation, and more forms, and having to justify, explain and eviscerate myself and our relationship.  I am plain exhausted. 

All in a good cause though.  That makes me feel a little better.  And one heartening fact: the Australian Department of Immigration is a helluva lot better, more efficient, helpful and straightforward than the UK version.  Given the opening remarks, that's saying a lot. 

Yep, today we lodged Tuxedo's application for spouse visa.  The package was approximately three inches thick by the time we'd finished assembly.  It consisted of:

Form 47SP - completed by applicant (Tuxedo) (Passport photographs attached)

Form 886 - Settlement details

Tuxedo's Birth certificate

Tuxedo's Passport

Our marriage certificate

Tuxedo's Medical Report

Tuxedo's UK Police Clearance - Northern Ireland Police

Tuxedo's UK Police Clearance - New Scotland Yard

Form 80 - Tuxedo's personal details

Statement by Tuxedo - his relationship with sponsor (me)

Form 40SP - completed by sponsor (me) (Passport photographs attached)

My Passport

My Birth certificate

Statement by me - my relationship with applicant (Tuxedo)

Form 888 - Statutory declaration (that we're a genuine couple and known to them) - by Person A (birth certificate attached)

Form 888 - Statutory declaration (that we're a genuine couple and known to them) - by Person B (birth certificate attached)

Written history of our relationship (five pages total)

Supporting documents, other

·         Bank account details

·         Additional letters of support from family friends

·         Assorted emails to each other

·         Wills made in each others favour

·         Photographs, misc.

PHEW.  Talk about comprehensive.  And talk about intimate - those personal statement, for a start.  And some of the emails were a bit, er, steamy. 

The customer service lady went through each and every page, making certain we had all required forms and documentation et al, a process which took at least three-quarters of an hour.  The interview itself, to be held later this month, will likely take two to three hours.  I am sure the officials have special training in making you feel guilty, dishonest and totally transparent - even when you're not.  I was nervous anyway - and this was just the easy bit, lodging the paperwork, the interview will be The Biggie - and the woman made me feel like I was a truly horrible icky virus or bacterium squirming on a slide at the wrong end of a microscope.  I had to keep repeating over and over in my head "don't be stupid, we have a legitimate claim, all our documentation is legitimate, we are married for fuck's sake and have been together for three years, we love each other, we are a legitimate genuine married couple, we are not trying to screw the system " etc etc etc.  I felt like standing up and screaming it out loud.  Talk about undermining confidence ...  

I imagine that if you were not genuine/legitimate in your application (ie, doing it only to get residency) you'd have to have nerves of steel to not be nervous.  The whole process is designed that way, I'm sure of it. to weed out the Naughty People.  I can understand that, but it is a nerve wracking experience, and if perhaps you were genuine but didn't have such evidence, or your circumstances looked dodgy, then it would be plain terrifying.

Its probably just me, though, and the old guilt complexes and submissive introverted crap bubbling to the surface - I have to squash that, because its stupid and illogical in this case.  I hate having to justify myself and it always makes me more defensive and tetchy than would be considered "normal".  I have the same trouble with apologising; I say sorry and grovel for no reason and it must be incredibly annoying for the recipient (I know it pisses Tux off - he told me that my New Year's Resolution for 2003 should be "I will stop apologising for nothing".  Results so far are moderate.)

Roll on the end of October and this interview. It will go well.  I refuse to consider the alternative/s, and there is no reason on this earth why our application could be refused.

Argh.  Still, at least that is all those horrible forms and bullshit out of the way.

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After all that we decided that a little celebration was in order, so we bought two bottles of Trilogy Champ-ag-nee and used our Waterford John Rocha glasses (they each hold about a third of a bottle so two bottles doesn't go very far!).  Very yummy indeed, and much appreciated.  And certainly well-deserved.  Mmm.

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