Friday 26 December 2003

Aftermath

After all the angst of Christmas Eve, I ended up having a really lovely Christmas - partly because it was quite simply a very enjoyable day and partly because I swore to myself that I would not think bad thoughts about myself and make myself sad; that I could catch up on all the dark despair and bitter self-absorption in 24 hours if I really had to.

This is my fourth Christmas with Tuxedo;  I count 2000 because even though we weren't geographically together at that point, or even engaged, it was about Christmas that we had to admit that the relationship thing was serious, even given 15,000 kms distance, and were to all intents and purposes "together".  Also, he'd offered to pay my ticket to Ireland to spend that Christmas with him and even though I'd said no, because blahblahblah, we still could have been together, hypothetically, so it still counts.

All hail to Logic Woman.

Anyway; fourth Christmas.  Another milestone/anniversary, and to be honest it seems like a miracle, that we found each other and are together, that I've had all this time with him, that we complete each other as we do.  I am so lucky with this guy, so so lucky.  Oh so much of the time I feel as though its me who's getting all the bonuses; this caring man with a sense of humour who looks after me when the physical health thing flares up, who makes me laugh and laugh, who has helped me to mellow out, become less intense and uptight, and occasionally is found to be entertaining and funny by other people.  I'm not going into the physicalities and sexual nature of our relationship because really, that's under the heading of TMI and you really don't want to know; also if you're female you might be really pissed off to hear about very frequent marathon love making sessions and multiple orgasms (and grossed out by such information if you know me).

What does he get out of it, I ask myself.  Well ... if I was to be totally objective, scientific and taking an outsider's perspective, I might say that he gets a loving loyal companion, someone who's interesting and lively and fun, someone who gives him more support and  confidence than he had before ... and of course the on-tap sex thing.  So yeah, he gets a good deal too.   He has said this stuff, and other ear-burning compliments about how brave and strong and sexy and cute and blahblahblah I am; but you know me, I'm not too good at compliments.  But you never know, one day it might start to sink in.

Okay, enough of the retching ...

As well as being our fourth Christmas, it was my adorable nephew Reuben's first Christmas (and my big bro's first as a Daddy).  He's growing so fast (a singularly unoriginal comment I realise) and is a real cutie; he's very mellow in that he's quite happy to be passed around an assembled group, settling with one person after another.  He's very alert and active though, so you couldn't call him a placid baby.  Best of both worlds.  He's not cranky or whiny at all, either; he sleeps pretty much any where/any place Micah puts him down (he has this groovy mini-beanbag) so I think my darling brother and sis-in-law got a good deal.  I can't see them wanting to return him.  So Merry Christmas, little guy.

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Tux and I, being the very mature adults that we are, woke up at about 5 a.m. and it took us about five minutes before we both cracked (actually, it was mostly me - I couldn't wait to see his reactions to what I'd given him) and went for the presents. 

I gave Tuxedo; DVDs - Futurama Series 4 Box Set, The Office Series 1 and Series 2, About A Boy; the Thinkgeek.com Despair 2004 Calendar; Thinkgeek.com Roger's Connection (a construction puzzle, magnetic rods and ball bearings, hours of fun!);  and PC game (Halo Combat Evolution).  He was very very pleased with all of those, so I did good.  So far the Thinkgeek stuff has inspired most comment and use (you got to have toys on Christmas Day!).

As for me .. well, poor Tuxedo.  Like me, he'd done all of his shopping online ... unlike me, not everything he'd ordered had arrived.  So he was feeling very down because he only had one thing to give me - but I was ecstatic with that, it being the DVD of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which had been on my wish list for ages.  So I was happy, although I really felt for Tuxedo's disappointment and frustration.  However it will be kinda fun, having Christmas last another week or two.  I can't wait to see what turns up - its all pretty much a surprise this year (the last couple of years have been a mix of surprise and planned gifts).

After present-giving and appreciation, we fooled around and giggled and napped a little more before getting up at about 9 a.m. to get ready for the arrival of Family and Friends.  My parents have had this tradition for years, whereby various old friends of the family and any "orphans" (friends without family in the country) come over for drinks and nibbles from around 1000-1400.  In the past I've felt a resurgence of PXB because all the oldies want to know if I have a boyfriend yet, if I have a decent job etc etc.  This year was especially nice because I could introduce Tuxedo to those oldies, talk about my adventures in Belfast and so on; it was good for the ego I tell ya (particularly because my fella was looking gorgeous and being his charming self; I also got to show off my engagement and wedding rings a few times, radiating smug "aren't I lucky" vibes the while; odious behaviour I know, but I figure I'm owed reparation for all those years of being made to feel miserable and uncomfortable).

When all the old cronies had left, the family got stuck into present-giving.  I'd got Micah as the person to buy a gift for, and she'd been absolutely firm on what she wanted - a pair of hedge trimmers - so that was easy for me, and she was pleased, so result all round.  Tuxedo had got Jacob, and ignoring his request for a Citroen DCV, gave him a rechargeable remote mouse for his puter (note: in between our place and driving back to the research station J. lost the recharger, much to Tuxedo's disgust ...). 

The Headmistress had me; she gave me three really great books off my wish list; A Cook's Tour by Anthony Bourdain (I lost no time diving right in), The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir, and The History of Britain Vol. III by Simon Schama (I have the first two volumes so that rounds things off nicely).  I was very pleased by all this excellent reading (not exactly light, though).  In a cute twist, Jacob had Tuxedo, and gave him a computer game (the expansion pack for Neverwinter Nights, I believe) and a Noam Chomsky book, for some reason.

All in all, a good morning thus far.  And no sign of Christmas blues on my part.

Lunch was yummy - lots of ham and turkey and salads, with fruit salad and mince pie (not for me) to follow.  Then a much needed nap - oof I was stuffed - before heading over to my uncle and aunt's for supper.  My advertising-genius cousin was there, over from Amsterdam on holiday.  I haven't seen him for many many years, as he's worked overseas for the past ten years or so and I was overseas the last time he came over, and had never even met his wife (who is very very sweet and pleasant).  I used to loathe my cousins, they were all very posh and snobby and image-conscious, and only talked and joked with each other in a strange dialect of in-speak; very exclusive.  Anyway this cousin has grown out of all that (the others haven't) and was very entertaining; he reminded me a lot of Tuxedo in his sense of humour and view of life, and he and Tux got on very well.  So that was a thoroughly enjoyable end to Christmas Day.

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