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Neon
Meate Dream Of An Octafish
Tomás
Ford's DISTRACTOMATIC _//October 2008
INDEX
/// SOMEBODY SHUT ME UP /_ THINGS THAT SUCK / SPECIAL EXCITEMENT
///_ THINGS TO DO IN A SEPARATE WINDOW WHILE YOU SURF PORN SITES /] ARIA FEVER
_____/_ AGING RECORDS YOU SHOULD TOTALLY SCORE OFF BITTORRENT ../ WHY PERTH IS
NOT AS LAME AS YOU KEEP TELLING ME IT IS / OUT OF CONTEXT REVIEW QUOTE OF THE
MONTH // REASON TO QUIT MY DAY JOB OF
THE MONTH //_ UPCOMING TOMAS FORD
GIGS////////////////////////////////////////////////!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!///1!?!
SOMEBODY
SHUT ME UP
[
Last
month I wrote about how I was worried I was turning into an X-box obsessive,
beer-drinking suburbanite. Turns out I had little reason to be worried. This
ended up being a bit of a rock and roll month for me. I ran around the east
coast playing shows, breaking equipment, dribbling shit and getting ludicrously
fucked up. It was most pleasant.
I
managed to break my computer monitor somehow on the way to my
Eastern
states kids will be gratified to learn that I’m all over your side of the
country again in late November/early December. Check my myspace for dates as
they come together. I have a few spare nights this time as I’m pacing this one
a little slower, so let me know if you live somewhere weird and would like me to
come for visits.
[Pong!]
Tomás
THINGS THAT SUCK
-
Screamo – I saw a screamo band with two screaming vocalists on Friday night. I do not intend to do that again.
-
Not being invited to the ARIAs – worse than not being invited to my friend’s horse-riding birthday party when I was 12.
-
The Potbelleez – if they win the dance music Aria over The Presets, I’m seriously going to punch them in the dick. I won’t hold back.
-
Laneway Festival – Yes, it’s coming to Perth. But how, exactly, does the Cultural Centre qualify as a laneway? Also, it’s a shit place to have a festival. Good lineup though.
-
Life – Worst show ever. Well, maybe not as bad as The Mentalist is going to get.
-
Kylie – I’m still pissed that she’s not coming to Perth. Worse than not being invited to the ARIAs.
-
Stock Aitken Waterman – Come back, SAW! Awful music misses you!
-
Summer – I am totally unprepared for this season. What the hell am I going to wear?
-
My guitar – More like “my inability to properly restring my guitar”. It’s not nice when it goes out of tune. That’s why I don’t play it live. Also because it’s a shitty guitar that sounds like, well, a shitty guitar.
-
MTV Kickstart – MC Able should have totally won. Not just saying that because he was my bunk buddy last weekend in Newcastle, either. It’s another win for generic crap!
-
Nine Inch Nails – Coming to Perth, but playing at some god-awful emo-punk festival where the next most interesting band is The Bloodhound Gang. For serious.
-
Economic downturns – This could seem like the end of the world, except that I’m kind of saving most of my panic for Peak Oil.
SPECIAL
EXCITEMENT
I
know I mentioned this before, but the Juicebox boys have been nice enough to
help me print a new run of stickers. You can grab them from me at shows for
either $3 AUD or a sambuca and coke.
THINGS
TO DO IN A SEPARATE WINDOW WHILE YOU SURF PORN SITES
Read About, Watch and Listen To Me
There’s
really nothing like a bit of Tomás Ford to turn an average afternoon into an
awesome one, is there? And luckily, the internet is more than happy to oblige at
the moment. Here’s a sample of what’s floating around the web like cooties
in a puddle…
http://radiodingbat.com/?p=164
First off the bat is the Radio Dingbat web video interview. It’s eight minutes
of me dribbling shit, interview-style, with video footage of my show at Shape
(Perth) in August and Tomás Ford vs The Audience from a couple of years ago. I
think it’s worth eight minutes of your time.
http://stephshowreel.blogspot.com/2008/10/tomas-ford.html
This is an interview I did for the ever-awesome SYN FM in
http://www.coverville.com/archives/2008/10/coverville_514.html
A widely listened to podcast by the name of Coverville recently featured my
version of Radiohead’s No Surprises
as the opening track of their Radiohead cover version special. It’s also worth
a listen for Brandi Carlile’s moaning alt-countryish take on Creep
and just to hear Hanson play Optimistic.
Still waiting on Hanson’s Kid A
equivelant album.
Read
About, Watch and Listen To Me
There’s
really nothing like a bit of Tomás Ford to turn an average afternoon into an
awesome one, is there? And luckily, the internet is more than happy to oblige at
the
ARIA
Fever
Surprisingly,
I’m not nominated this year. I thought I was a shoe in for “Best
Hand-Assembled, Homerecorded DIY Release”, but the judges have snubbed me
again. Anyway, I’m obsessed with awards ceremonies, so I thought I’d take
this opportunity to lay my bets for Sunday night;
Nominated:
Gabriella Cilmi, Kylie, Operator Please, Sam Sparro, The Veronicas.
Gabriella Cilmi will, no doubt, win a lot of awards this year. But she’s not
going to get my support. Kylie’s X
wasn’t as big a hit as her record company was expecting and I’m still hatin’
on her for not touring to
Winner: Kylie.
Best
Adult Contemporary Album
Nominated:
Clare Bowditch, Jimmy Barnes, Katie Noonan, Robert Forster, The Panics.
There’s two possible Human Interest Story wins here, with Jimmy Barnes making
his first album without chemical assistance and Robert Forster’s album being
made up partially of songs that were slated for the next Go Betweens album
before his bandmate died. Death > Rehab, so if it’s about the backstory,
I’m going with Forster. Outside of that, Clare Bowditch and Katie Noonan have
really fucking annoying voices and The Panics have some serious momentum.
Actually, I think The Panics could be the go for this one. Though I don’t know
if they’d take getting this as a compliment. But it might give them the
crossover power to play some big money baby boomer vineyard gigs, which would be
nice for them.
Winner: The
Panics.
Best
Dance Release
Nominated:
Cut Copy, Mobin Master, Pn
Mobin Master was obviously nominated by someone whose prime clubbing days were
about ten years ago. A bit of time to sit with it after the hype has died down
has revealed that Cut Copy’s album actually is
as bad as I initially believed, I’ve never liked Pn
Winner: The
Presets.
Breakthrough
Artist - Single
Nominated:
Angus & Julia Stone, Gabriella Cilmi, Sam Sparro, The Panics, The Potbelleez.
Sam Sparro was born here. But to call him Australian at this point seems a bit
dumb, given that he’s made his life and career in the UK, making him as
English as Marcia Hines is Australian. So it would be a little confusing if he
were to win this. I thought The Panics won this last year or something? And
Angus & Julia Stone haven’t really
broken through, given that I suspect they’re still living on Mee Goreng
noodles. ARIA voters will always choose bad over good and her record company has
pumped so much cash into the single that it’s been unavoidable, so I think
Gabriella Cilmi is the winner here.
Winner: Gabriella
Cilmi.
Nominated:
Angus & Julia Stone, Gabriella Cilmi, Midnight Juggern
Sorry to keep picking on him, but Sam Sparro is a bit of a singles man. Likewise
Operator Please and Gabrielle Cilmi. Leading me to think the Juggern
Winner: Midnight
Juggern
Best
Independent Release
Nominated:
Ben Lee,
Gurrumul’s album is actually the best album here, but I think this is more
likely to go to
Winner:
Best
Rock Album
Nominated:
Eddy Current Suppression Ring, Faker, Gyroscope,
Given that Nick Cave’s album has really done most of its’ business overseas
and Eddy Current Suppression Ring are the token “underground” inclusion, I
think this is more likely to be a three way, mainstream pop-rock showdown
between Faker, Gyroscope and The Living End. Faker are crap and The Living End
are past their prime, so I guess it falls to Gyroscope. Who are actually kind of
good.
Winner: Gyrsocope
Best
Female Artist
Nominated:
Clare Bowditch, Gabriella Cilmi, Holly Throsby, Kylie, Missy Higgins.
If Kylie is actually coming to this, which I doubt, the organisers will need to
give her some kind of award. It is most likely to be this one, though you
can’t discount the seedy old man lust that could drive a win for Gabriella
Cilmi.
Winner: Kylie.
Best
Male Artist
Nominated:
Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu,
I think Gurrumul is actually an outside chance here, as even people who
haven’t heard the album have the vague idea that it’s kind of awesome. And
people who have heard it know that it is indeed the radness. After last year, it
can’t go to
Winner: Geoffrey
Gurrumul Yunupingu.
Best
Group
Nominated:
Angus & Julia Stone, Faker, Silverchair, The Living End, The Presets.
In addition to not actually being a breakthrough act, Angus And Julia Stone are
not actually a group. They’re a duo. So semantically, at least, they can’t
possibly win. Silverchair won big last year so I don’t see that happening,
plus they appear to be in the midst of a backlash. The Living End are a bit passé
and Faker’s greatest success only came after Grafton Primary did a Presets
influenced remix for them. So I guess that leaves The Presets, who are also the
most likely to give an amusing speech.
Winner: The
Presets.
Single
Of The Year
Nominated:
Faker, Gabrielle Cilmi, Sam Sparro, The Living End, The Presets.
Faker: crap. Cilmi: crap. Sparro: crap. Living End: passable, but pretty much
according to their usual formula. The Presets’ single is a monster that is
still massive almost a year after its’ release. Surely this will go to them.
Surely.
Winner: The
Presets.
Album
Of The Year
Nominated:
Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu, Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson,
As nice as it was of Kasey to throw her husband’s ailing career a lifeline,
the album is still crap. Nick Cave is in the bad books after last year and not
nearly popular enough in this country to win and I don’t think the Gurrumul-love
will extend this far. I’d like The Presets to win, as their album is at least
listenable, but the formula and track record of The Living End may carry them
through. This may be the moment the Australian press has been waiting for to
anoint them as some kind of Australian Rock royalty. Which is a pity, bec
Winner: The
Living End. Urgh.
Sunset
Studies – Augie March
I
miss when they used to be my favourite band. Now they’re the kind of band I
expect my friends’ parents to rave to me about. But this debut is still in my
top 10 of all time. Restrained, atmospheric and full of really good little
stories. I’m going to go listen to it now.
As
deeply unfashionable as big beat has become, this album was big news for a
reason. It’s the perfect soundtrack to running around your house pretending to
be a spy. Come on. If I suggested this ten years ago, I would sound totally hip.
Don’t look at me like I’ve suddenly contracted rabies.
WHY
- Artrage SILVER Festival – Is on right now. High fives to Artrage for 25 years of awesomeness.
- Pride – Is also on now. There’s so much stuff happening in this city right now.
- This Is The Time… This Is The Record Of The Time – PVI are showcasing the best live artists in the country for one night only. We’re talking Version 1.0, Unreasonable Adults, Spat And Loogie and my collaboratory friends Hydra Poesis. It’s going to be pretty amazing. Unfortunately, it’s on Halloween, when I’m going to be a busy boy so won’t be able to come, but you should totally go.
- Reform – On November 1, PVI Collective are remounting their show Reform as part of Northbridge Festival FOR FREE. Follow a group of uniformed vigilantes around the streets of Northbridge as they attempt to reform the general public’s antisocial behaviour. I’m going.
- The
Tricksters’ Bible – Scott Patrick-Mitchell and I recently had a bit of a
run-in with the cops when installing the
- The History Of Glass – Mar Bucknall and Al Boyd get down and dirty with some spoken word at The Blue Room. This will, most probably, be awesomecore.
- Injured
Ninja – L
- Grand Salvo – is on tonight at Mojo’s in Fremantle. For those of you who were asking me about it, yes, he was at The Rocket Room last night. No, it wasn’t quite the appropriate venue.
- Global Gathering – Kraftwerk! Kraftwerk! Kraftwerk!
- The
Dandy Warhols – are coming for some Tuesday night party party at
- Big Day Out – Neil Young! Neil Young! Neil Young! ...Sneaky Sound System? Huh?
OUT
OF CONTEXT REVIEW QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“But….if
you weren’t ‘touched’ by Tómas Ford’s messy music (as in, didn’t like
it) there is a big chance that you were at least touched – literally..”
– Super-Fantastich, Faster Louder,
I’m
actually touring too much for my day job now. I don’t have enough annual leave
to keep doing this.
UPCOMING
TOMAS FORD: SUPER BONUS TOUR BONUS EDITION!!! BONUS!
THURSDAY
OCTOBER 16
COTTONMOUTH
BAR 459, THE ROSEMOUNT HOTEL
with Field Of Sound + Scott Patrick-Mitchell + Kristy Felton + Amber Fresh +
James Quinton + Simon Cox + Jessyca Hutchens + Byron Bard + Patrick Pittman +
Jay Pruyn + MC Able + Mystic Eyes + Open Mic Torture
If you
only come to one Cottonmouth this year, make it this one. This is going to be a
kickarse showcase of WA’s contingent to the National Young Writers’
Festival. I’ll be doing a short set of my spoken word vs electronic music
classix, including a reading of a really fun new work I’m putting together for
Controlled Riot.
SATURDAY
OCTOBER 18
HYDE PARK HOTEL
with She Selexx + Simone And Girlfunkel
She
Selexx is the new electro-ish project from Trilby from The Resonance and about
half of Halogen. This is probably as discotastic as the Hydey has ever been on a
Saturday night. It’s going to be very amusing to see how this goes down, in
any case, so if you’re in
SATURDAY
NOVEMBER 9
TOMÁS
FORD’S CONTROLLED RIOT
ARTRAGE SILVER BULLET CLOSING PARTY
HYDE PARK HOTEL
with TY
I’ll
be performing with an army of minions. We’ll have rehearsed a whole pile of
extra cool shit in the afternoon for this special one off show. Plus there’ll
be three new pieces of material. If you’d like to be part of this show, please
drop an email to riotriotriot@westnet.com.au
and I’ll hook you up with the info. It’s going to be a lot of fun.
MC @ LATE NIGHT LIVE
ROCKET ROOM
Pretty much every Friday
until the end of the year (except when I’m on tour and on halloween), you can
catch me on the mic at the Rocket Room dribbling shit between bands after
midnight. The resident DJ for the next while is Adam from Birds Of Tokyo,
dropping a whole pile of alt-rock classix for you, while I give away tickets to
shows and generally harass everyone. For the next couple of weeks we’ll be
giving away tix to The Dandy Warhols, so it’s well worth heading down. Late
show is $5 entry from midnight onwards. If you find me when you get there and
mention this email list, I’ll do my best to sort you out with a beer.
GO
TO TOMASFORD.COM OR I WILL PLAY WITH GUNPOWDER NEAR YOUR CAR’S FUEL TANK
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