CURSE OF THE VIVIANS

I would have you know
that in these jeans
are genes of ancient honourable lineage
which caught my name
from a lively French bishop of Saintes
martyred by Visigoths in the fifth century
and simmered gently through centuries
biding time and gaining vigour
from sunny French vintage
until William of Normandy called for
a joint stock venture of Gallic mercenaries
to sack the Saxons

some of my ancestors stayed to wander Europe
but my line took to Cornwall
thriving under royal favour
captaining castles to harry the countryside
for castle captains were men of power
able to exact toll of treasure and pleasure,
and gaining benefices in church, army and state
seats in parliament and knighthoods
baronetcies and peerages

they were miners and farmers and leading lights
and 'tis said, some
were not averse to setting misleading lights

but on mankind we brought the greatest curse
a scourge that tops the list
for dear cousin Andrew worked with Trevethick
and in London, in 1803
was the world's first urban motorist!