May Contain Traces of Nuts...

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Name:Téa Brennan
Location:Perth, Western Australia, Australia

7/22/2004

The Politics of Road Rage...

I have recently started a job (yes, I ended up staying) that involves a 50 minute commute to work every day in peak hour. Before that, I tended to be 15 minutes from everywhere, and as a result had not really experienced too many bad drivers. But recently, things have changed. And, Téa being Téa, I felt the urge to apply my experiences to my understanding of Politics. So, I am going to pick on my two favourite politicians of all time (not). Self Interested Fucktard #1: Driving one of those pretend 4WD's, like a RAV4 or something, driving up West Coast Highway. I am doing 2kms over the limit and this guy is on my tail. I resisted the temptation to pound on the brakes just to show him a lesson... but anyway, no matter what speed the traffic is going, I notice him overtake, push in and tailgate every car that he is following. I am not even talking your lame, 1m behind tailgating, I am talking literally inches away from the car in front of him, bullying his way through. I can't help but think that George Bush and the other members of the American aristocracy would drive like this (that is, if they didn't have drivers). Like this guy is so frigging important that he needs to be aggressive and bully his way in (despite the illegality). He is so much more important than anyone else - after all - on the road its every man for himself, and if YOU can't get ahead, then its your own fault for not doing more! Self Interest Fucktard #2 (otherwise known as a courier): Sneaky little buggers they are. Which naturally brings me to John Howard. They sit in blind spots, waiting for their opportunity to make you crash and burn. It might take 2 mintues, it might take 6 years, but eventually, their tenacity and persisitence will pay off - because eventually everyone else just gives up and lets him ride in front of you. Then, after you finally become complacent about said "courier" - when you have swerve to miss the bastards, they curse YOU out for getting in their way in the first place. Self Interested Fucktard #3: People with a white hat in their rear window (otherwise known as the passive-aggressive octogenarian driver...) Which, again (funnily enough), reminds me of our RSL loving Prime Minister. They'll just keep going on their merry way - keep driving at 30km/hr because "it's not a race", blissfully unaware of the carnage that falls around them, or that society has actually moved on and people are much, much busier these days. Because, you see, they aren't breaking the law. And all those young 'uns are just speed freaks anyway. But alas, I have decided to brave these people after all. I accept their existence, and try to incorporate my own little ways to get back at them, like turning the music up, singing at the top of my lungs... and refuse to bow to their methods.

7 Comments:

mscynic said...

Here in One Horse they've reduced the local speed limit to 50km. NO ONE ever pays attention to it other than people like me who can't afford the fines. There are cameras EVERYWHERE.

I LOVE it when people tail me, hurl abuse at me, perform some 'Gone-In-60-Seconds' type manouvre, endangering their lives overtaking, only to be sitting alongside me again at the next set of lights. I like giggling and saying, "Tee hee. Look at that. All of that effort and you're still here, no better off". One of these days I'm going to beaten to death in some road rage frenzy for my smugness.

8/13/2004 02:25:17 PM  
mscynic said...

PS. I know when *I* think of pollution spewing, oversized trucks with a "Wide Load" sign, I think of Amanda Van Stone.

Cheap shot, yes. Had to be said.

8/13/2004 02:26:55 PM  
tealou said...

HAHAHAA! That is too true. Self interest Fucktard #1 actually ended up near me at the lights as well, and I couldn't help but have a chuckle to myself ;)

And, watch the fat jokes girlie... I'm a "big girl" too ;)

8/13/2004 02:38:15 PM  
mscynic said...

Thats what children do to you. You may be a "big girl" but you're hardly a "pollution-spewing" girl. I wish Amanda would tape her mouth shut a'la Merlin Luck.

8/13/2004 04:16:16 PM  
Sponky said...

MsCynic: we have the 50 local speed limit here as well. Fat lot of good its going. I cant remember, does (One Horse) have a "Must drive in the left hand lane unless overtaking or turning" law as well? Because we have that here as well. Not that anybody pays attention to it.

I LOVE it when these little cockhead "Look I'm Vin Diesel in The Fast and the Furious" wannabe fucktards in hotted up little Honda Civics speed past you, careen dangerously around a corner and up the street, then end up at the same lights.

8/16/2004 12:47:08 PM  
mscynic said...

Sponky: I think that drive-in-the-left-lane thing is national. Its the other weird things that are state specific. Like Hook Turns in Vic (WTF? No. Really. WTF?) or my personal favourite, the totally rational and sane rule that exists in FFNQ (Fucking Far North Queensland). Up there, its perfectly OK to exit a round-about from whatever lane you happen to be in, cutting across traffic without so much as a shoulder check even from the INSIDE LANE! Naturally. Of course. Why not? Why did I expect anything else from a state full of rednecked bastards with all the brain cells of a fucking houseplant on Roh Hypnol?

Excuse my language TeaLou. I'm a little shirty today.

8/17/2004 04:25:33 PM  
Sponky said...

Thats insane!! As for the language, she doesnt mind, you should hear her go off sometime.

8/17/2004 06:19:56 PM  

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